Reviews on "My Deliverance" by twinsuns

• Written by CharlieSchulz on chapter #19. (August 25th 2010, 5pm) This is a really cool piece of work you've put together :-)) I went from Bo Burnham to this, so it took me a second to get the feel of..um, not comedy, let's say - but I still laughed a bit at poor Bertram ((which is a terrible name)). I liked it for many reasons, one being that you made Lily come off as a girl who yes, wanted to have sex, but you didn't make her sound like a complete slut. I find most people either chose prudeLily or slutLily. You had balance. It felt real-er somehow. I do hope you continue, because you have some wonderful characters going on and a fantabulous plot, and well - psh, I want to know what Dumbledore says! So yah. Peace :-)) -Charlie

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #19. (May 3rd 2010, 1am) This is gorgeously written and poetic. I love the portrayal of James and Lily and how they slowly fall for each other. I also love the clever takes of Alice and Frank. It's very sweet.

• Written by Impala_lily on chapter #19. (October 27th 2009, 1pm) Love your fic. So glad you're still working on it. Great chapter. I love the way you portray Lily and James. Can't wait for more

• Written by accio_salmon on chapter #19. (October 22nd 2009, 1am) Okay finally getting around to reviewing: Loved this chapter sfm. Lily and James are just awesome as a pairing, the way you write them. I also like how their ~first time~ was described as clumsy and wasn't some OMG MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCE EVER AND WENT ON FOR SOOO LONG like some stories unrealistically portray. Also, the miscarriage bit was so sad but believable :( Update ASAP bb. Your writing is just fabulous.

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #19. (October 14th 2009, 3pm) wow, that was awesome! as awesome as your previous chapters, might i add. i love you lily and james are just taking things one at a time, realising they love each other yet still maintaining the same dynamic they had as friends. awwwesome chapter!

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #19. (October 12th 2009, 8pm) So glad to see an update on this, and my, you covered a lot of ground making up for lost time! Petunia and Vernon's wedding, Lily and James' first time, Alice's miscarriage... this chapter was packed! I actually really enjoyed the scene with Aubrey - it was well described and seemed realistically awkward and teenaged. Can't wait to see what Dumbledore has to say... -GlynnisGriffiths (not logged in)

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #19. (October 12th 2009, 5pm) I was so happy to see an update on this story! I've been following it now for a long time. Anyway, your characterizations of James and Lily are one of the best I have every read. I can't wait for whatever comes next.

• Written by Anna_Karenina on chapter #19. (October 12th 2009, 2pm) Oh, I adore, adore, adore this entire story so much! This chapter was absolutely wonderful. Your Lily and James are just so spot on! Alice and Frank, too. This update made my day! No, week! Thank you! : )

• Written by lily_james461 on chapter #19. (October 12th 2009, 3am) Gah! Ckuffhanger!!! Oh, the pain! Brilliant--James and Lily are so sweet together :) Poor Alice! Update quickly...please? ~Jackie

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #18. (April 18th 2009, 10am) Hi, I just finished reading your story so far. I'm not a big fan of stories that show the beginning of Lily and James' relationship- mainly because I have hardly ever read anything that I find believable and compatible with canon, it's just a really difficult thing to do. But I totally fell in love with your story, I could almost believe it was a real prequel to the books. I'm sorry I can't express any more of how much I adore your story-telling (I'm not a native English speaker). Please, update soon, I really can't wait to read more of your story!

• Written by lilyflower09 on chapter #18. (February 22nd 2009, 8am) I love your story. I think I read part of it once when I was scrolling through mugglenet fanfiction. :D Can't wait for the next chapter. Update soon! :)

• Written by lily_james461 on chapter #18. (February 10th 2009, 10pm) Ug. So short! Anyway, I like how you incorporate Alice and Frank into your story, because they definately played big parts. I have trouble geting them into my story, but a lot of people don't even put them in! I really liked this chapter--despite the fact that it was VERY short--and I can't wait for the next update!!! ~lily_james461

• Written by Anna_Karenina on chapter #18. (February 10th 2009, 7am) I'm so happy we finally got to see Alice and Frank interacting on their own. Lovely stuff. You are so talented, it always makes my day to you've updated. : )

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #17. (October 26th 2008, 6pm) You've got a real talent for writing. This story is wonderful! I love the atmosphere and how great you are at depicting the scene of war. I love it all. :)

• Written by jen2008 on chapter #17. (October 23rd 2008, 6am) Gahhh! I can't even explain how good this story is!! There are literally 2 or 3 fanfictions that have kept my interest the past few years - and this is definitely one of them! The way you characterize James & Lily and describe their emotions is just... amazing? That's not a good enough word but it's 2am and I can't really think straight other than the fact that this last chapter was wonderfully fantastic! Keep up the fabulous writing!! I hope you don't keep us waiting too long for the next chapter!! :]

• Written by practicegirly on chapter #17. (October 22nd 2008, 11pm) I love your story! I love how even with all the coldness and fighting outside, James and Lily warm each other (literally and figuratively). True happiness during dark times. It warms my heart too!

• Written by blueberry on chapter #17. (October 22nd 2008, 2am) you're alive!!! i was beginning to wonder where you were. (: lol. this is one of my favorite chapters. i like how you didn't rush into it, but started with lily thinking about it and leading up to it. and i loved the action! snape's little piece was a very nice touch. (: udpate soon!! i can't wait!

• Written by lily_james461 on chapter #17. (October 21st 2008, 9pm) Wow...just wow. I can't believe Snape would do that to Lily...actually, I can. Git. Anyway, I really liked this chapter, I'm just slightly confused. Would Lily really have done that? Some part of me says yes, if she was sure she loved him, but she was also so practical all the time. Either way, you wrote it well, and it made me believe that she would do that! Loved it! lily_james461

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #17. (October 21st 2008, 9pm) That was wonderful. I really loved it. Definitely worth the wait, too!

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #17. (October 21st 2008, 8pm) This second half is awesome! definitely a favorite part from this story! i can't wait for the next chapter!

• Written by abok1972 on chapter #17. (October 21st 2008, 5pm) Really really great chapter! I've missed this fic...so glad to see you updated. The sleeping/cuddling at the end was so sweet.

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #17. (October 21st 2008, 1pm) AAAAHHHH! Thank you for updating. I started reading your story in May, and I am quite addicted to it. I check your story blog and have been looking for your update every few hours when I've been online. You are really writing an amazing story. I love how you have integrated parents and aurors and Severus Snape. Your plot is engaging and the James Potter you envision is intriguing. You are definitely writing one of the best James/Lily stories. Thanks for sticking with it. And when you have spare time from studying for vet school and fencing, please keep on writing. Make sure you are backing up your story on a flash drive so you don't lose your work if your computer crashes!! Keep up the great work and know that you are leaving us all wanting more. If it takes you ten years to write this, don't give up. God Bless, Gen

• Written by Anna_Karenina on chapter #17. (October 21st 2008, 5am) ::cheers:: I love this story. Damn. Love.

• Written by lily_james461 on chapter #13. (September 29th 2008, 10pm) Okay, so I started reading your story on Mugglenet, but it was taking so long (and I was furious because I couldn't get any of my sotries posted) that I switched to UR. Thank God I found you again! I missed reading your stories, and I think this chpater was the perfect length. It was a good idea to stop it where you did. I see that since I've last read, your writing is still amazing, and I can't wait to read the rest of My Deliverance!!! Yay! ~lily_james461

• Written by CherryBear on chapter #16. (September 14th 2008, 9pm) Can I really just, first off, say that I really like the idea of this story? There are so many Lily and James stories out there that prefer not to even touch the mess that is Voldemort and his war, meanwhile this one all but revolves around it. It really adds another element to the twisted relationship the Head Boy and Head Girl have, because it almost seems like they don't even hate each other anymore, that they keep up that routine just to remember the old times and keep a long-time joke still running. That's kinda what urged me to read this story, and I'm writing this review as I read it and noting all the things I like about it. "They nodded, and after one more hug each, I ushered them off of the platform. As they left something in me left with them, and I stood there staring at the brick wall they had disappeared through for what seemed an eternity, trying to figure out what that missing piece was. But I couldn’t." This is perhaps my favorite quote in Chapter four, because it seems to me that Lily feels almost as though her childhood is disappearing right through that barrier along with her parents, and you seemed to express that very well. You have a very unique writing style and your descriptions astound me (actually I'm a bit jealous of them). "“Listen, it’s just an engagement ring, not some sort of bloody target. I mean, isn’t anyone allowed to be happy for once? They’re in love for God’s sake, and if I was in their position I wouldn’t let anything stand in my way either.” “Nor would I,” said James, glancing up at me." Foreshadowing, much? I really do love how you write their interactions, especially how Lily mocks James' earlier words and spins them around with her "Don't kid yourself". They seem to be constantly in some sort of vicious duel between the past and the present; keeping an old routine and starting a new routine. It seems so odd that Lily gets back to Hogwarts to find everything the same; everything still going on as normal as though nothing has changed in the outside world. I suppose that that is how it would be. I also like how you integrated the idea of Lily having her own dorm and bathroom and sharing it with Potter, because that idea is normally vastly overdone but you didn't focus completely on it. It's a refreshing change in fanfiction, to not have their whole relationship based on the fact that they share Head duties and dorms. “No, Potter, I don’t understand you,” I yelled into the sky after him, before turning away. I really enjoyed the idea of Lily running early in the morning just to feel free, because it's something I can empathize with, and how later on James states Quidditch as his escape. It’s quite realistic to me, because let’s face it, everyone needs to feel free every once in a while. "Like two sides of a coin, he is... we both are... I mused. But life keeps playing us in a game of chance, and sometimes our best face doesn’t come out on top." This is a really marvelous analogy you have going on here, also. I like how Lily keeps coming back to it, and I think it can also be expanded to include life itself. Sometimes there's good and sometimes there's bad and the good doesn't always come out on top, you know? And I could go on and on doing this, including all my favorite quotes and such, but I think that would be a ridiculously long review that you probably couldn't even be bothered to read, so I'll just add my final opinion of the story now. I love how you add Remus’ condition and the Animagus forms subtly into the story. It really says a lot about Lily’s brilliancy that she figures it out so quickly, and a lot about James’ trust for her when he confesses everything to her; from their forms to the Marauder’s Map. I’m endlessly pleased with the idea that Lily got to know the Marauders; that it’s something of a two package deal with what she feels about James. It’s just something I love in story, because if you think about it realistically then you realize that there’s just no way a guy who is that close with his best friends could not marry someone who actually knew his best friends. And it seems that Lily’s relationship with each of them is unique, which I adore especially because you’re not shunning Peter aside as a lot of MWPP fanfiction authors have a tendency to do. I’m applauding you for that. Let me also comment on your – chapters, which fascinate me. It seems like they are there to keep readers plugged into the vicious magical world and the struggles with Voldemort, to remind everyone that even while Lily struggles with her feelings and interactions with James, there is still a war going on. I especially love the insight into Frank’s character. My favorite scene in the story is by far in chapter fourteen, when after Lily’s confrontation with Snape, she goes and seeks comfort. I especially love when she tells James that she doesn’t think he’s an arrogant toe rag anymore, like he pales in comparison to Snape, or something. It actually made me giggle a little. But all the happiness pretty much ended in that chapter. Thanks for that, by the way. “I couldn’t let you leave without telling you that I love you.” Pretty much the best way to end the last chapter you’ve put up. I can just imagine that really touching scene where Lily runs out in the snow and such and it actually makes me really happy to think about it. Silly, I know. And now, since this is probably the longest review ever, I’m just going to end this briefly. Thanks for writing this incredible unfinished story, but I really hope you’ll update it soon. Hopefully all my compliments encourage you, yeah? Sincerely, Cherry Bear

• Written by lanamowerr on chapter #16. (August 19th 2008, 2am) Great chapter, and what a cute ending ! I'm new to reading this story, and I'm not quite sure how often it is you post, but it's been over a month now since there's been a new one. Please try to update soon ! I can't wait.

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #16. (July 19th 2008, 4am) OMG YES THANK YOU FOR UPDATING i basically freaked out when i saw :D good chapter, the ending was so cuteee

• Written by Anna_Karenina on chapter #16. (July 16th 2008, 7pm) Oh, this chapter was yet another fantastic addition to the marvelous story you've put forth! I absolutely adored this chapter, particularly James' father and cannot wait for the next chapter...as per usual.

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #16. (July 16th 2008, 5am) Shoot, way to give us a cliffhanger! :)

• Written by Anonymous on chapter #16. (July 13th 2008, 11pm) i really love this story, especially the characterization of james. in l/j stories, because they're usually narrated by lily, james is often sloppily charaterized, but you have created an interesting character in him even though lily is narrating. i do have one quibble with your story- i think you overuse adverbs, to the point where it becomes distracting and makes your writing too wordy. i really like your story overall and lots of writers, including jkr, overuse adverbs, but it would help your writing if you thought about whether you really needed an adveb before using it. otherwise, this story is wonderful!~M