The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth by hpboy13

Hermione walked into the Room of Requirement and softly shut the door behind her.  She turned to her friend Harry and asked, “Why did you ask me to come here tonight?  You know that tonight is the night Ginny’s going to be singing in the Great Hall to raise money, and we have to be there for her.  You especially.”

Harry started blushing and stuttering, “Well, you see, um, here’s the thing: Ginny keeps on hinting about nights together and stuff like that.  But Hermione, I don’t know anything about any of that stuff!”  Hermione quickly turned her shrill giggling into a hacking cough.  Harry obviously wasn’t fooled, they had been friends too long for that.  He started blushing even more deeply and said in a highly distressed voice, “Well, I never got the chance to learn!  The Dursleys obviously didn’t teach me, they wouldn’t have wanted me to continue my bloodline.  And I went to Hogwarts before the Muggle schools taught me.  So I came to you for help, because you’re my best friend and the smartest witch in the year.  Please help me!”

Hermione laughed hysterically for about a minute.  She asked him between peals of laughter, “Why didn’t you ask Ron?”

Harry asked her incredulously, “Yes, that would go well.  ‘Ron, your sister is hinting at having sex with me, teach me how to, please.’  He’d kill me then and there!”

Hermione laughed a bit more.  Then she started trying to explain all of the scientific information about the male and female reproductive system.  Harry cut her off, “Hermione, as fascinating as all of this is, I just need to know what to do.”

Hermione sighed.  She could not believe she was actually going to do this.  She said to Harry, “Take your pants off.”

Harry shrieked, “What?!?”

Hermione said, “Well, the fastest way would be for me to show you.”  She then started taking off her own pants.

Harry looked upwards, as if praying for guidance.  He whispered, “Oh, Merlin.”  Then he started taking his pants off.

In a minute, they were both naked from the waist down.  Hermione was impressed, though not as impressed as she had been at Ron.  Hermione then started showing Harry what was what and what goes where.

Suddenly, they heard the knob turn, and Ginny walked in.  She took in the scene.  Tears started to form in her eyes.  She whispered, “How could you?”  Then she slammed the door and ran.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other, and said together, “Oh shit.”  They quickly pulled their clothes on and ran after her.

They arrived in the Great Hall just as people finished pushing a crying Ginny in front of the microphone.  Ginny wiped away her tears and started singing,

“It's funny when you find yourself Looking from the outside I'm standing here but all I want Is to be over there Why did I let myself believe Miracles could happen ‘Cause now I have to pretend That I don't really care I thought you were my fairytale A dream when I'm not sleeping A wish upon a star That’s coming true But everybody else could tell That I confused my feelings with the truth When there was me and you I swore I knew the melody That I heard you singing And when you smiled You made me feel Like I could sing along But then you went and changed the words Now my heart is empty I'm only left with used-to-be's And once upon a song Now I know you're not a fairytale And dreams were meant for sleeping And wishes on a star Just don't come true ‘Cause now even I can tell That I confused my feelings with the truth Because I liked the view When there was me and you I can't believe that I could be so blind It's like you were floating While I was falling And I didn't mind Because I liked the view I thought you felt it too When there was me and you.”

When Ginny finished singing, she closed her eyes and two tears slid down her cheeks.  She opened her eyes and made a quick bow.  Then she grabbed the money she had earned and ran out of the Great Hall.