Blocking Teddy by rhhgrt

A/N: This is total and complete crack. Oh, and dead people can observe the doings of the living. They just can. Don't question it.

Blocking Teddy 

They watched as Teddy told James off and as James returned to his parents. 

Dora turned to James agitatedly. 

"Your grandson really needs to stop cock-blocking Teddy," she said. 

James spluttered indignantly. 

"Yeah, mate, the grandson of one Marauder shouldn't cock-block the son of another," said Sirius in an overly wise tone of voice. 

Remus put his face in his palm and shook his head in a defeated manner. 

"Now, now, I'm sure that the intrusion of a thirteen year-old won't have much an effect on Teddy's love life," said Ted. 

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to Remus. 

"I just hope he's not still a virgin." 

Dora took offense to this and was about to issue a harsh rebuttal when Fred spoke up. 

"You know, I really don't appreciate you lot talking about my niece like that, even if her mother is hot piece of ass," said Fred 

"Oh shut up Fred," said Dora. 

Lily cleared her throat and all eyes set upon her. 

"Now, now, James isn't cock-blocking anyone, and you know, I'm sure Teddy's ass getting abilities are quite well developed by now, so there is really nothing to worry about," she told them all soothingly. 

"Well of course he has good ass getting abilities. He is my grandson after all," said Ted proudly. 

Marlene snorted. 

"Oh please Ted; Andromeda didn't even let you cop a feel until you were together for six months."

Ted turned a bright shade of red. Dora made a gagging noise. 

"Can we please end this line of speculation?" asked Remus, his face still residing in his palm. 

"If it makes you happy mate," said Sirius, giving Remus a reassuring pat on the back as the conversation turned to another subject.