Snowglobe by ficexchange

Merry Christmas, Hannah (Selena_Lupin)!

Snowglobe

She had to find a way to tell him. Doing so in peaceful times would have been hard enough because of James' amazing ability to be childish. Now, revealing this pregnancy to a puerile James who was terrified of having children due to the war against Voldemort was a significantly more difficult task. She had even considered not revealing this to him, but that sort of cowardice was truly unthinkable. Lost in her thoughts, Lily almost didn't hear James' voice calling her name.

"Lils? Lils? Did you hear what I said?" he asked. James held a can of tomato sauce in each hand, comparing prices. "Frank and Alice are having a baby."

"Oh, really?" She faked disinterest, but her stomach belied her feelings: it quivered in nervousness, waiting for James' next comment. "Come, James, it's none of our business."

"What do you mean, 'none of our business?' Frankie's terrified." He picked the cheapest can and put it in their basket. After years of living with Lily, he was used to converting pounds to Galleons and Sickles fairly quickly. "And he's right to, yeah? After all, we're so young to have children—all of us. And putting a child in the world nowadays is difficult, with all the violence that's been going on." His gaze, focused on the shelves, failed to catch his wife's moistening eyes. "Well, at least I wouldn't want to have a child now; it would only get in the way of our lives, right, Lil?"

When Lily failed to reply, James looked away from the shelf and saw that she was running away. He immediately let go of the basked and ran after her, to no avail.

"Damned redheads," he muttered.

Hours later, Lily regretted leaving her jacket in the basket. She had been walking ever since she had left the store, and didn't feel she was getting anywhere useful, or even remotely familiar. She was cold, more so than she would normally be—which seemed ironic, now that her body was playing host to a lovable parasite.

The snow was fluffy, and the hem of her tartan pants was soaked, but she didn't care. There were Christmas lights all around and never had she wished so hard for a blackout, which would destroy that ultimate symbol of happy families—happy families and happy parents.

She walked in strong, angry strides, with absolutely no idea where she was going. She stopped and looked around. Lily tried to recognise the street where she was, and cursed the lack of creativity of London architects: identical houses, identical streets, identical everything. She hated London—no, that was a lie; she loved London and its labyrinths. But at that precise moment she hated everything and everyone, with the exception of her unborn child. At least it didn't know what was happening, didn't know that its father didn't want a baby and that from the moment it took its first breath of this world's polluted air, it would be in danger, counting down the seconds to death because of this damned war. The child would be a half-blood, and even more in danger than the rest of the British wizarding population because Lily and James Potter were active fighters against Lord Voldemort.

Lily passed by a pub and didn't hesitate before entering. Lily could no longer drink the draught she was so fond of, but the atmosphere of a British pub was always good to exorcise bad feelings. At least she didn't have to explain why she was so upset. She sat at the counter and asked for a pint of draught anyway—people said it helped a mother produce milk. Lily had heard it as a child, and at least now she would find out if it was true.

"Lily?" Someone who knew her name sat beside her. "What are you doing here on your own? Where's James?"

The redhead looked at the man beside her; it was Remus Lupin. At least it wasn't Sirius. If so, James would quickly find out—

"Lily Potter!" She heard Sirius Black's voice and thumped her head on the counter in frustration. Now she was definitely screwed. "Did you know that Moony, Prongs and I have been looking for you all over town? You chose a bloody horrid day to disappear! It's snowing and everything. Where have you been?"

"Wandering around the streets until five minutes ago." Lily sipped her beer.

"James said you left him alone in the market for no reason. He's slightly upset," Remus said, always the delicate one—a more accurate term to describe James' current state was 'livid,' or perhaps 'seething.'

"Well, I'm slightly upset as well. James said things that really hurt me."

"Er, he can do that sometimes. What did he say?" Remus leaned forward on the counter, meeting Lily's eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Sirius," Remus turned to face his best friend, "would you mind taking a stroll outside?" Remus had never been the subtlest of men, and Lily had always found that extremely amusing. After Sirius obediently went to the far side of the counter, Remus faced Lily once more. "Now you can talk. I know Sirius isn't that good a listener—he's not at all impartial when it comes to James. I know the kind of crap my friend can spew from time to time."

"Well, perhaps you'll agree with the things James said. In fact, until last week, so did I." Lily sighed. Things had changed a lot this past week. Human certainties were volatile, incredibly so. "I'm pregnant, Remus, and James doesn't know. I was going to tell him today—I've been putting it off for a while, but just as I was about to do it he started going on about how absurd it was for Frank and Alice to be expecting a baby, and about how Frank was completely lost... He said we're too young to be parents, and that a child would just get in the way of our lives."

She blinked away the tears forming in her eyes.

Remus gaped at her, speechless; before his bewilderment gave way to joy, she touched his hand and said, "Remus, I don't want this. I'm afraid of what's going to happen; I don't know how James will react. I don't want this."

"You don't have the power to make that decision anymore, Lily. You're no longer alone in your body. The person growing inside you is entirely blameless, and knows nothing about James' childish ways, about this war, or the lack of responsibility of its parents' conduct. If you didn't want a baby, how did this happen?"

Remus' face was solemn. She stared at him, now knowing what to say. He was right; she had no control over the situation anymore. It had happened, and sooner or later she would have to face James, and both his and her fears.

"All right, all right—I'll go home." Lily drank one more sip and got up, leaving money on the counter and gesturing to the barman that he should come get it. "Can you guys come with me? James will need Sirius to go out and get drunk with him, I guess. And I'll need you—even if it's just to share a cookie with me or something."

"Can you tell me what's going on in there?" Sirius was restless. He kept tapping his foot on the ground, and furrowed his brow in a fashion Remus knew to be dangerous.

"Er. Lily's pregnant. James had no idea, and he mentioned to her that children would only slow down their lives. Lily was hurt and angry, and that's why she disappeared like that. She's scared of his reaction, of the war... She even thought of aborting the child—she didn't say it, but it was obviously on her mind." Remus stared at the television, but wasn't paying attention to the Dr. Seuss film that was on.

"What?" Sirius jumped up as if he'd been sitting on an electric probe. "Are you sure?" Sirius was so stunned that one would think that he was the child's father.

"Well, that's what Lily told me. So, what do you think his reaction will be? What do you reckon he'll do?"

"I don't think it's going to be very nice." Sirius sat back on the couch, taking a position that was comfortable yet doubtless hazardous to his spine. "I mean—James will like it, of course, he loves her and having a child with someone you love is the best thing that could happen. But I've talked to him about this, and... He won't know what to say, and he'll end up saying stupid things. This will take a while, Remus." Sirius rose so quickly it was a wonder he didn't get a head rush.

"Where are you going?" Remus lifted his gaze to meet his.

"Home. I left some windows open that need to be closed. I'll get some films, popcorn and pillows for us, too; Conjure some beds, Moony—this conversation is going to take a while, and I don't want to leave them alone, even if nothing happens. I as good as live here anyway..."

"How long are you planning on standing there with your mouth shut?" James paced around the couple's bedroom, unable to contain his nervousness. "Won't you explain why you left me in the market like an idiot, talking to myself and then running after you? Even worse—in a Muggle market!"

By this point, James, having lived with Lily for years, was fairly used to the Muggle world. However, if she left him alone among them, he tended to panic.

"James, I don't know where to start—there's so much I have to explain to you..."

"Lily Potter, have you cheated on me?"

"Morgan's lake, no! How could you think that of me?" She immediately stopped crying, and her cheeks reddened in anger.

"It's the only explanation I can come up with for all this—there's nothing terrible enough I can imagine that would cause you to stop talking to me! We've always been great at the communication thing, we've always been honest with each other, and there's no reason that you wouldn't be able to talk about whatever's bothering you!" James gesticulated wildly; he was pale and sweaty.

"Who says it's something bad?"

"But of course it's bad! Don't tell me you're—"

"Pregnant! I'm pregnant, James Potter." She watched, as if in slow motion, James' knees shaking and gravity forcing him to sit on the bed, facing her. "About a month along, according to the doctor. It probably happened on Halloween, when we got back from that party of Sirius', totally—"

"Drunk," he finished the sentence for her. They had forgotten to take the necessary precautions that day. "Lily, I—"

"I don't want to! You don't want to either, do you?" Tears ran down her reddened, freckled cheeks, and he finally understood what was upsetting her.

"Lily, you think I want you to—that I—" James couldn't even bring himself to say it; she nodded. He hugged her, horrified. "No, of course not... Merlin, no!"

"But you said a child would get in the way of our lives! You said you didn't want to!" Lily could no longer hold back her tears; she sobbed pitiously, the whimpers so heavy she could barely breathe.

"This was when you weren't pregnant! Or rather, when I didn't know you were pregnant! I would never have said those things if I'd known—never! And of course I'd never even consider an abortion."

"To be honest, I wouldn't do it." Lily was panting, struggling to breathe between sobs. "I would've freaked out and run off at the last minute. But... what now?"

"Now you're going to forget the Order of the Phoenix and take care of yourself. Now that we're having a child, you can no longer fight." Lily opened her mouth to protest, but he raised a hand to silence her. "We need to move to a bigger house, and buy a cot, baby clothes, lots of nappies—"

"So you're not—"

"I'm terrified. Aren't you?"

"Very much... Incredibly so," she said, having finally stopped crying.

"I want to show you something. Put a jacket on; we're going outside, and it's snowing."

When Lily was adequately dressed, James held her hand and they Apparated to a deserted street in a village she did not know. He was right; it was snowing, and the Christmas lights no longer bothered her—after all, she wasn't unhappy anymore.

James kept pulling her by the hand and smiling. They went up the entire street, which seemed otherworldly in its complete silence. They stopped at a well-lit square that led to three other streets similar to that which they had just left. It was a small-town, nondescript, cosy square, with large, pretty houses circling it, a beautiful water fountain in the middle, a church—with a secluded cemetery that looked frightening this late at night—and toys for children to play with.

"Perfect, isn't it?" James wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they walked down one of the narrow streets close by. "I spent my childhood here," he pointed to a big, yellow, two-story house with a white picket fence and an unkept garden, "but my parents shut down the house after my grandmother died—it was too painful for Dad. That was a bit before we met. We're in Godric's Hollow. This is where I want to live, with you and our son—or daughter, who knows?"

"In that huge house? Just the three of us?" Lily stared at the house, smiling without realising it.

"It was just me, Mum, and Dad, and the house always seemed like it could've been a bit bigger. And who said we'll only have one kid, anyway? In a few years, when the war ends, I want a few more redheads running around me. The little hurried bugger that you're carrying at the moment will face some hard times, but here in Godric's Hollow we'll be far from everything. It's an isolated village, very peaceful—perfect to raise a child far from the dangers of war. It's perfect for my wife and child to live in, perfect for me to come home to every night."

Lily put her hands on her waist and surveyed him, saying, "For someone who didn't want children until this afternoon, you seem pretty excited."

"Oh, but I have to be excited, don't I? After all, being a father must be more thrilling than playing Quidditch against Slytherin when I was fifteen, with hormones making my blood boil as I tried to score and show off to you at the same time. Considering we're in the middle of a war, I will feel very manly indeed protecting my family and my castle from evil!"

James started howling with laughter out of nowhere, a sound that seemed capable of waking up the entire village that, seen from above, resembled a Christmas ornament—a glass orb with a quaint scenery covered in snow, both comforting and fragile in its delicacy.

A/N Big thanks to my pink friend, who was crucial to the development of this fic.